February 2012
11 posts
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“This is the thing: When you hit 28 or 30, everything begins to divide. You can...”
– Relevant magazine (via charliebravo)
This article made me tear up a little... →
secretsthatsell asked: Is that how your hair looks now? I love it!
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(almost) FREE BAMBOOBIES!!!!!!! →
WatchThere is no sweeter sound than that of a baby cracking the hell up. I love this kid.
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New Mom Hack...
Layer.
I’ve been coming to work in the shirt I slept in for the past two days (they were different shirts - I wasn’t raised by wolves!). The keys to disguising this:
extra deodorant
another shirt
a scarf
a jacket
boots
blush
Somehow, I still look like I made an effort. Layering always makes you look like you made an effort.
on compliments
family friend: Motherhood looks good on you.
me: You deserve sainthood.
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On getting your infant to sleep through the...
Take him out. ALL.DAMN.DAY.
I know babies are different, so don’t blame me if this doesn’t work for your kid. I can only be anecdotal, so here is my anecdote:
Every time Dudeguy complains about the kid not napping, I ask him if they went anywhere. The answer is always no. Once the weekend comes, I strap the kid to me and take him out wherever I’m going. Not to the park...
January 2012
11 posts
It took me 2 hours to put the kid down for a nap:
1st attempt: he had to pee
2nd attempt: epic poop
—break for Skype call with grandma and grandpa. Banshee-like screaming ensues—
3rd attempt: spit up everywhere
4th attempt: boob-induced sleep.
SUCCESS!
The Breastfed Baby: The Skinny on Infant Growth... →
I am SO glad I read this. The pediatrician told Dudeguy she was concerned that the kid’s growth was slowing although he’s in the 50th percentile. He seems big enough to me. Humph…callin’ my baby small. Pssssssssssssssh
thebreastfedbaby:
I have known for awhile that the infant growth charts used by pediatricians were “based on formula-fed babies” (I was told by my...
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I had the kid at work with me for an hour...
Productivity was down 85%
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on today's visit to the pediatrician
Dudeguy: He was fine at first in the examination room, but while weighing him (after measuring him) he started screaming and pouring tears like never before. The shots must still be in his memory and the room and activities that led to them.
Me: MY BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY =(
Dudeguy: He screamed and cried from that point until we walked out of the doctor's office. Then he looked and me in the elevator and smiled.
Me: ...
Dudeguy: I am sure that he thought he was about to get more shots.
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So, the kid has been giving dudeguy hell this week - rejecting bottles, screaming, not eating, not napping. Dudeguy thought it was because HK, in all of his hardline preferences at 5 months old, no longer liked breast milk and only wanted banana puree…which we ran out of. After fully freaking out and sending me IM’s demanding that I go to Target for more banana puree, it turns out...
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so the kid can now undo velcro...
I’ve had to send my favorite covers (Grovia, FTW!) in to be converted to snap closures because HK has 1) discovered his junk and 2) likes to gain access to his junk. I can’t tell you how disconcerting it is to watch my infant scratch his balls.
Honey, if you’re reading this as an adult, I’m sorry for putting that out there. You were a hot mess at 4 months old. Be glad...
“Breastfeeding is hard. If you don’t hit hurdles in the beginning, pray to...”
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WatchApparently, the kid likes Big Sean…
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December 2011
17 posts
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I don't know lullabies
I just put the kid to sleep humming the tune to World 1 in Super Mario 3.
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We're back
I’m never packing that much for the kid again. EVER again.
I forgot that Christmas usually ends with gifts in need of carting home. We had to buy an extra suitcase to haul it all. You should have seen us in the airport; Dudeguy had a roller bag in each hand and a huge backpack; I had a roller bag in each hand, a car seat on my shoulder, a diaper bag and purse on my other shoulder, and a...
you know what i hate?
WHEN TUMBLR LOGS YOU OUT WHEN YOU’RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A LONG POST.
Fuck you, very much.
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At the Cafe Stephanie
MIL: so this is my son, his wife Alicia, and you've met their son
Lady: (looks at me) Oh! He's yours?
Me: Yep!
Lady: (in disbelief) Nooooooo!
Me: Umm, yes, he is.
Lady: Oh! I was going to say, "that's nice of you to agree to babysit so early!"
Me: ...
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At the Salvation Army
Lady: That's a handsome boy you got there.
Me: Thank you!
Lady: Is he yours?
Me: ...
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We made it...
Had to buy an extra suitcase because his diaper and potty paraphernalia take up an entire carry-on roller bag. O_O
He held it the entire plane ride. We managed to defy the laws of physics and both used the bathroom and got him re-diapered in a 4’x6’ bathroom stall without really touching anything in there. How?
I’m Batman. That’s how.
Seriously though, it...
Oregon
In two days, we’ll be hauling ass north. Via plane. I have nothing packed.
In hopes of feeling productive, I made a list of what we need to bring for the kid; it’s already taken up a whole piece of note paper. O_O I guess I’ll be wearing the same two outfits for 9 days.
The “fashion blogger” in me just died a little.
“i think #minivinny will be swagged out in his cashmere sweats on saturday....”
– via my twitter.
Me and a few of my girls are having a yard sale in Echo Park on Saturday. Come through! Deets @ www.innyvinny.com
thingsonhangers asked: I didn't read your blog for a year ... i come back and you have a baby lol
I've decided he wants to be an MMA...
So during our post-potty re-diapering where I usually give the kid a couple of raspberries/zerberts, he takes a handful of my hair in each hand. Unsure of my next move, I politely inform my nearly 4-month old of what he is doing in hopes that he will release me. He does not.
He does, however, manage to knee me in my head…twice.
Thanks, kid. Thanks.
I’ve been reading The Continuum Concept and I highly recommend it. Very, very interesting…kinda makes me want to live the rest of my days in the jungle or the woods…or at least somewhere Sallie Mae can’t find me.
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The Four Baby Humors
I spend every waking moment of my life with at least 2 of them on me.
What are the Four Baby Humors? Aside from a nod to the other Four Humors?
Simple; drool, spit-up, pee, and poop.
And yes. That first sentence still stands. Every waking moment. At least 2 of them.
November 2011
20 posts
2 tags
Blossom is my mommy idol; peep her article on bed... →
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Siera-O: [TW: Violence] BREAKING: Jeniffer Fox,... →
stuffcrazygirlslike:
occupyallstreets:
“I was screaming, ‘I am pregnant, I am pregnant. Let me through. I am trying to get out.’” At that point, Fox continues, a Seattle police officer lifted his foot and it hit her in the stomach, and another officer pushed his bicycle into the…
I am about to set the roof on fire right now.
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For the Lactating Working Mother
Men can breastfeed.
Ok, I was joking. Well, technically I wasn’t because it’s kind of true, but I meant that men breastfeeding wasn’t the point of the post. Can we start over?
We can?
Great!
If you’re going to be leaving your baby in the (in)capable arms of another person while you’re off winning bread and believe in the benefits of breast milk (or are a...
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“I just had an hour long gchat conversation with my sands about breast pumps. ...”
– I have a feeling that a breast pump post is in this blog’s future…
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And TFB comes through swinging again! See post... →
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Pick Your Battles
Because arguing over how and where your kid shits is enough to break up a home. Almost.
annifusmaximus-deactivated20120 asked: WHERE OH WHERE! Did you get the canvas wedges with the indian print! I have to know...I'm a huge sucker for shoes and I've been sitting at my computer for an hour searching google for these. I love them on you and your blog! So inspirational for me.