The Quickening: Archive

Not just the dirty stuff.: Discipline and the... →

allmylaundry: Micah is at that stage where he’s testing his boundaries. And by that, I mean he’ll be doing this for the rest of his life and will probably be the kid that pushes my buttons the hardest because that’s who he is and what he does. Do you have a pet peeve? Something that annoys the hell out of… ALL OF THIS.

May 14th

5 notes

Watch

Heh

Apr 20th

1 note

Apr 17th

25,040 notes

1 tag

Mar 18th

1 note

1 tag

Mar 18th

4 notes

Watch

Billy the body rolling elephant.

Mar 12th

Mar 8th

4 notes

Is "Lost" a Parenting Approach? →

allmylaundry: I seriously LOVE this blog! ALL OF THIS

Mar 3rd

4 notes

Watch

Endless Alphabet. His favorite game and one of the best free apps available for kids. Also, he replays the videos over and over and over and over. And over.

Mar 2nd

4 notes

Watch

Endless Alphabet. His favorite game and one of the best free apps available for kids. Also, he replays the videos over and over and over and over. And over.

Mar 2nd

2 notes

He's weaned

He still tries to sneak boob though. He isn’t slick. And i need more crew neck shirts to sleep in.

Mar 1st

Watch

He’s such a weirdo.

Feb 22nd

2 notes

1 tag

...

AWOL? Kind of. I’ve been working 10 hours a day, playing with the boy when I get home, and looking for a house in the meantime all while not relaxing on the weekend because Dudeguy has classes in our house. Shit is stressful, bruh. And burnout is REAL. The boy? Awesome. He’s all chatty and says “Hi!” to people and falls in love with little girls, and finally is...

Feb 6th

6 notes

17 months

he has a few half words. it’s cute. he bites to show displeasure. not cute. tantrums. also not cute. wakes us up with an enthusiastic “HI” and then pulls at my face and says “BOO-BA”? (still haven’t weaned him) waves bye-bye. is still emptying drawers left and right. is very liberal with kisses.

Jan 22nd

1 note

i found my wallet. i left it in the stroller. sorry, kid.

Jan 8th

1 note

2 tags

#toddlerproblems

Today, while incarcerated (and while I was at work), the boy managed to remove his shorts and diaper and smear shit all over his playpen. The chair, the blocks, the floor, the rug. EVERYWHERE. Dudeguy cleaned up, and charged me with giving the boy a bath when we all got home. Prep for what the boy considers to be the best part of the day (BATH-TIIIIIIME!!!) includes wild screeching about bath...

Jan 8th

5 notes

Jan 8th

3 notes

Dec 28th

>.

I think I’ve developed an anxiety disorder over the past few days. This is why I work outside of the home.

Dec 27th

the weekend that shit got real

I’ve had a fairly incident free first year as a mom. Supportive partner, no daycare expenses, only a couple of long distance trips; I survived with plenty of cushion. And this is what’s fucked up about having a fairly cushy first year. Not long after, shit will go haywire over a couple of days and have you saying “I REALLY did not sign up for this shit,” but you will...

Dec 25th

7 notes

16 months

WHEN DO BABIES SLEEP THROUGH THE DAMN NIGHT?! Onward… He: - would rather night nurse 12 times a night than eat during the day - still can’t jump - is happy to entertain himself by pulling things out of our drawers - is a complete snugglebug. loves hugs. LOVES them - has rhythm - loves airplanes; points them out and says “eh-pane” when he sees them - makes out...

Dec 20th

3 notes

How Older Parenthood Will Upend American Society →

Dec 13th

8 notes

1 tag

“I was just in the kitchen washing stuff when I heard someone running up on me...”

– Dudeguy

Nov 28th

3 tags

mom of newborn: oh my god, she's SUCH a great baby.  so chill!  we got lucky!  
mom of toddler: that's wonderful!  she'll probably stay that way.  
mom of toddler (thinking): we'll see how long that shit lasts...

Nov 23rd

1 tag

so today was awful

tl,dr: buy an amber teething necklace and NEVER take it off of your kid. I had the week of Thanksgiving off. This was supposed to be a chill week, spent with my little family, taking a load off, eating well, yadda, yadda, yadda. Not a lot to ask, right? So much for that shit. For the past several days, the kid has been congested; not serious enough to warrant my complaining since he still...

Nov 23rd

2 notes

ramblings

I think ‘balance’ is this halfway mythical concept meant to make me feel inadequate. F balance. I’m just trying to stay well-rested, showered, and reasonably sane. The boy is becoming willful. Not in a terrible way, but the shit is annoyingly cute…which is sure to become only annoying in the future. And he is starting to climb up on things. Awesome. Add...

Nov 22nd

3 notes

“Someone once asked me if Dudeguy and I still go out now that HK is in the...”

– Me

Nov 12th

2 notes

it takes a village

A year and a half into this motherhood thang-thang (a little over 2 if you count the pregnancy), I am firmly set in my belief that shit is easier if you have a tribe; a group of women who can talk you through things, let you vent, and can hold your kid while you go to the bathroom. This is priceless. Beyond priceless. No one should have to travel this road alone and uninformed and the best...

Nov 11th

6 notes

Nov 8th

3 notes

15 months

I’m doing this 9 days early because the boy is asleep and I’ve completely forgotten about doing these. This would have been so much better if I would have been doing them on schedule. *sigh* N-T-WAY, The boy: - has gone back to chewing his food. HOORAY! - is still sucking the life out of me breastfeeding with no signs of stopping. - will not fall asleep unless he has one of...

Nov 8th

2 notes

Nov 3rd

66,202 notes

Luvv Divine: After Sandy →

READ IT AND VOTE. robdelaney: If you were following coverage of Sandy last night, you may have seen photos of nurses and firemen transporting babies from the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) at NYU’s hospital. If you didn’t, you might consider looking them up. They’re very moving. They show courageous…

Nov 3rd

2,442 notes

5 tags

YAY FOR PUREE

for the last few weeks, HK has been refusing solid food. any time dudeguy tries to give him any, he balks and cries for breastalade. since my supply is tapering off (the boy is 14 months old 1 big enough to be eating actual food now), this hasn’t been great. on top of that, he’s trying to figure out how to jump, practicing running, building shit with blocks and a host of other...

Oct 27th

3 notes

1 tag

it will never not be funny..

Dudeguy: I just walked into the living room to be greeted by a severe pooh disaster.
Dudeguy: Oh, the humanity!
Me: LMAOOOOO!  did he take his diaper off?
DG: Yes.  It's too early to talk about just yet.
Me: uh oh
DG: I hope no one is doing laundry.
Me: are you serious?
DG: I had to give the boy a bath - preceded by me hosing him off with the shower head.
Me: what the hell?
DG: None was above his waist - I suppose he learned last time not to get it on his hands.

Oct 19th

1 note

Oct 6th

1 tag

Oct 6th

6 notes

My baby hates the idea of a potential new sibling...

mybabyisaverage: “And yelp!”, my baby yelped. HK has made it plain that he has no intentions of parent-sharing with another child. Consider my uterus closed for business.

Oct 5th

8 notes

1 tag

Oct 4th

Oct 2nd

16,438 notes

1 tag

“It was near the end of the two hours that I expected the boy to nap. I heard a...”

– Dudeguy I’m still laughing. Partially because he always puts an “h” on “poo.”

Sep 17th

1 tag

The war is on

Bedtime is becoming a battleground. The last few days have seen me take nearly an hour to get the kid to bed. The first quarter is full of him shrieking and crying. The second is me trying to bribe him with breastalade. The third is him pretending that he is discovering his hands and feet for the first time - he finds them so novel and interesting that he has to stare in wonderment at them....

Sep 7th

2 notes

1 tag

Extreme Nursing

Leave it to my kid to make nursing a damn extreme sport. I never knew that a child would contort his body into every possible position just for the fun of seeing if he can do it while nursing. For instance, if we are on the couch and he’s sitting on my side, he’ll uncouthly access “the buffet” and then nurse while on a hellafied gangsta lean. Then he’ll stand up....

Aug 30th

Aug 22nd

28,922 notes

2 tags

Aug 22nd

2 notes

1 tag

Another Giveaway at EC Simplified! →

Aug 15th

1 tag

“Can you believe he just got mad at me for not letting him make a mess? You know...”

– Dudeguy to me after taking the sippy cup with which the boy was using to make a mess on the bed.

Aug 14th

3 notes

1 tag

“I signed up to be your daddy. I did not sign up for this other shit.”

– Dudeguy to the boy who was making a mess with a sippy cup on the bed

Aug 14th

12 notes

Aug 11th

5 notes

1 tag

Sir...

Dudeguy: I put the stone age fertility goddess statue on your night stand. She's actually a candle.
Me: why did you do that?  LOL
Dudeguy: I even lit her and let the smoke and mystical emanations work their way into your things.
Me: umm...

Aug 7th

1 note

1 tag

Why I Love My Mother

Politician at door: (blah blah blah)...and my strong commitment to traditional family values, as my wife of 28 years will attest.
Shade's mom: Sir, I don't care if you have orgies every Tuesday night so long as you get your job done.
Politician: ...
Shade's mom: Also, if "traditional family values" is a sneaky way of saying "anti-gay marriage stance," you should know that my daughter is bisexual, and if I never get to cry at her wedding because some law you passed made her wedding illegal, I will personally see that your wife of 28 years has a lesbian awakening in time for you to discover the virtues of traditional divorce.
Politician: ...you have yourself a nice day, m'am.

Jul 26th

41,936 notes