Why I Love My Mother
Politician at door: (blah blah blah)...and my strong commitment to traditional family values, as my wife of 28 years will attest.
Shade's mom: Sir, I don't care if you have orgies every Tuesday night so long as you get your job done.
Shade's mom: Also, if "traditional family values" is a sneaky way of saying "anti-gay marriage stance," you should know that my daughter is bisexual, and if I never get to cry at her wedding because some law you passed made her wedding illegal, I will personally see that your wife of 28 years has a lesbian awakening in time for you to discover the virtues of traditional divorce.
Politician: ...you have yourself a nice day, m'am.
Hoggie was in his crib chirping and playing… I was playing chess on my...– - Dudeguy The kid has jokes…and nudist tendencies.
The boy just went to sleep. He gave the diaper a big splat of pooh, broke two...– -Dudeguy. This is what happens when you EC part time. Babies know the difference. LMAO.
10 Things Most Americans Don't Know About America →
Not baby related, but OH SO RELEVANT.
READ.THIS.BOOK. Breasts: A natural and unnatural history by Florence Williams. Enlightening and terrifying.
The boy: almost killed me. Dudeguy caught him chewing on a nickel. I cried because I wasn’t even thinking of checking in on him (he was in the baby jail) and we wouldn’t have known if the unthinkable happened. (note to self: DON’T LAY CLOTHES OVER THE SIDE OF THE BABY JAIL) is small. Really small. Like…in the 5 - 10% small. He makes up for it in looks and humor...
Baby Blair Witch Project
I was having a hard time putting the kid down to sleep last night. He usually fights it, and eventually succumbs after a bribe of breast milk, but tonight was an exception. I finally was able to corral him on the bed, curled up with him and patted him on the tummy. Turned out the lights out around the house. After a few minutes, I looked down and saw that his eyes were still wide open. ...